Day 32 New Month

This is a brand new month and this month is the month I was born in 60 years ago.  My mom and dad are gone and I am heading that way.   Well, I guess when you are born you are headed that way and you never know when it will happen.  We always forget that.  We get so caught up in this world we made up that we don't enjoy our bodies, our lives, what we have.  I am wanting the rest of my days on this planet to be filled with new things.  Like joy, living in the moment, giving more, inspiring people and loving more.  Living in the ocean of consciousness and creating.  I want to learn how I can create from that.  Even physical things, everything we have on this earth is created in this consciousness, from trees, to tables, the internet, our food, our rain, our sun, all of it.  I want to connect with that and learn how to create, like I said.  To create the vessel of abundance, freedom. heart ways.  Let that be me.  I feel like a leader that isn't leading,  I feel like a healer that is not healing.   I don't feel like a house wife but I am taking care of a house.  I don't feel like a wife and yet I am one.  I feel more like an artist, a creator, not a cleaner, or seller.   I don't like formal parties unless I am part of the hostess or a part of the cast, or producers or actress, or musician.  Is that vain?  I do like to go for others special occasions but I am not a partier right now.  I don't want to be around booze or eat to much.  I would rather do somethings creative or travel  or meditate, do yoga, ride a motorcycle just something a little different, peaceful, full of reconnecting and understanding my imprint in this consciousness.  People say I live in a bubble and that may be but my bubble seems clearer and more real to me than their bubble.   I AM SO GRATEFUL.  THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!