Day 8 Do It

Do it, Do it, Do it, Do it.   I procrastinate.  I do it over and over and again and again. And I trip over things on the floor, I put one pile on another.  I keep sorting and sorting and sorting.  What is up with that?   I Do it.  Can you.  I really just got rid of some things I have been carrying around for days.
I want all of my pages of suffering for 50 years thrown away.  I don't want anyone to read them, they will do no good for no one. They were stories upon stories and then another story on that.  Oh, see, that really is true.  I am not good enough.  I want to be happy, I just suffered and wa in a prison no matter what I did.  There were moments,  very very few.  I can remember them.
Do it, what does that have to do with suffering, or my journals.  Well, I made up excuses and didn't think I was worth anything so why would it work.
Acting was the thing that brought me to focus on a great thing that I thought would be my lifes work.  Politics, self doubt, self destruction and more stories of not being good enough pulled me under and I allowed it.  I believed that was what I was.  
I am not my what I do for a living, I am not even my body, I am an energy that won't ever fade. My body will die, everything will change.  Everything.  The world we are creating is ever changing, the life we are creating in this creative universe is moving all the time. All the time.
This is a big year for me and I desire it very differently so I have to change what I am creating by recognizing my thought patterns and  change them.  Connect, be quiet, Listen, Don't fall into old patterns.   I got a head start before this year and I plan on keeping that path till death do us part.