Day in LA

I am Dizzy and I believe it is because I cause myself to not be in the moment.  More of the overwhelmed notion.  Not facing my fears.  Ihave been doing that for years but with the windhorse It is a much deeper notion and exploration.
I have 2 million dollars, why two then I already have one.  I love what I do.   Mainly it is allowing my given power out.   Really that is all that it is.   People want to be around me,  They enjoy experiencing my quite peaceful presence,  All things get done without worry or doubt.  No need to judge or put  garbage out.  No garbage out and none in.  I love my pintentions....

I I I dedicate my life to this life.   I dedicate this life to experiencing a full potential possibility.   I haven't blogged in a really really long time.  I haven't made the time or felt the interest.  I love pinterests and I love living in living color.   I want to put my light in this blog. I don't know how to upload one more picture without all of these coming with it.  It's OK.  It is all a dream,  The question am I awake in my own dream?
What is my dream?  What is my wish fulfilled look like?  Is this it?  Am I being everything I can be?  Am I trusting myself and believing in myself?  Am I creating the life I was intended to live? How do I keep living the life that I want to live?   Am I trusting?  Am I grounded in unlimited possibilities without getting overwhelmed?  Windhorse will be with me now and tomorrow.  Thank you!!

Day Off

T

This is Buddha Cowboy!!!

Hello,  I really love to do a blog the day I have a private lesson.  While I am waiting for the person to come.  They are going to be late and that is just fine with me.  Hey what is up there......  I have had a kind of out of body afternoon. Being dressed in full outdoor clothes in the house.  I keep falling and knocking things over  I have big fat baby boots on right jeans 2 tight shirts a scarf.  I love the way it looked when I got back from looking good to go to costco.  What is today about. I am liking dressing nice.  I cleaned the wall's in the kitchen.  For nobody but me.  Not for Gary.   I remember being so uptight getting ready for Gary to come home.  Things have really really changed in me since then.  I am sober to many things in life now.  I still get some kind of anxiety but not like I used too.  I live my own life now in our house.  I don't stop doing what I do.  I want to get an EXpressions proposal, business plan ready and also just a flyer I can send to spiritual centers around.  I want to travel and do Expressions in different states. Thank you for this.  I am a Budda Biker.  Thank you very much.   love ya all...  I truly am filled up with something.  I have been exploring pleasing and anger and my past.   I am exhausted.  I just want to be quiet Buddha biker.  Emotionally challenged right now.

Day Fantastic

what does that mean?   Well, I got it again.  After things get weird, I realized that I just made it all up. I have no control over anything except my thoughts on things.  Something happens that is brand new and I react like a tape recorder.  I am paying attention to that and not doing that, but living in the moment with love and respect and determination.   Determination.  I got it.  I can and am everything that I ever thought I could be right now and there is no stopping me.  The bullys, the demons,  the boogie men that I thought had me in their grasp.  HA,  they are gone,  they were made up, there is no one here right now telling me anything but myself knowing I am it.!!   I am light, I am goodness, I am gentle kindness, I am all.  I am beauty , I am for all. I dedicate my life to being transparent, judgement free, acceptance.   There is no one out there to rescue me.  I am that I am.   Love me

Day Expressions

EXPRESSIONS    and a Private class

I am excited to say that I am having a private lesson today with a young lady / Now I am having a little Expressions party with the girls at work.  Some of them can't come and it makes me very sad as it was like I was young and my friends couldn't come very much.  Well I didn't have any friends until my neighbors became my best  friends.   I don't even keep track of them anymore.

Only two people showed up.  I thought maybe only one would show up.  No I cannot believe that no one came.  I am not upset, we had a great time. I know that the store is falling apart and their lives are way more  important than their commitments.  That is what I feel.  I was so sad like when I didn't have any friends in grade school.

We had pesto salmon and Halloween cake.  What a great deal.  I learned that this house will be really awesome to have stuff like this more.    This works.   I am this.  This is good.  This is happiness.

It is all good.

Day hot and august

Day of Septembers last

Hello, great land of the world.  I am here to announce the wonderful acting class that is starting tomorrow.  Why am I doing this?   I am a great marketer and I have a great group of kids.  What has been going on with me.   I refuse to allow outside people to change my aspect of life or my goals, I am full of love and determination.  Yes, determination.
I have 3 schools up and going by 2014.  I think one in Corvallis and maybe Medford.  Or Ashland.
where do you think I should have them.  I ride for women.   I love and sing for women.  I have no idea how tomorrow will go.  I have to make sure not to allow the childrens likes or unlikes to drive my way of doing things.  I ask for help from the worldly universally energy.   I command that the best for all will be had through this class that has the intention of helping others help themselves.  What fun is that,  it is all the best fun.  Thank you I am so grateful for all of the rewards for all.  Thank you.

Day Summer love

That is what I said.  Summer Love.  I haven't wanted to leave the property except to go to the local grocery store and give the dog a walk.  All is quiet right now and I am not sure if I am being lazy or simply being.  The things that I have been getting ready for are almost over and I thought I need more to do.   I have so much to do for what I want to do before I go.  I really must take each day and see it as near the last.  I am not afraid as I am not ill that I know of but I haven't been free from myself before and I am that now in most moments.  So what if I do crafts.  Get over the words...OKs.   I am an artist.   I got turned down today to have my photos in the gallery or in the store in Newport.   I feel very sad about that.  Oops.  I don't really fell bad,  I could but I don't  Now I want another place to put them in.....I get it.  I got over it.   I have it in the perfect store/gallery and I am so grateful.

Day New

I am typing in bed.  blogging in bed.  Never take my computer away from it's holder.   I have got to do new things.  my body is hungry.  I need more and more and more learning and creating and doing.  I need to be around more and more people.  I give my gifts, I create my gifts.  I am I am I am.
  I am awake in my dream.   2 million it has to be 2 because then I already have one.  That is such fun.  I have art in gallerys, I sell moss, I sing and play and sell songs and I am in front of people all the time being.  I am being awake in my dream.  

I can not allow anyone to take that away from me.  Not even myself.  Our mind is like chicken wire.  It has big holes in it. 
Thoughts come in and out.  but if you are chicken you can't get out of the pen.   I am not chicken. I love chicken wire and I create magnificent things with it.

I have such vivid dreams that I wake up with the emotional hangover from them.  Sometimes not wanting to wake up. Sleeping is one of my great escapes.  writing on the computer and having a wonderful breeze come in the window is a brand new experience.  And I am really taking to this being so portable.

While awake in this dream I love many things.  My guitar, my cowboy boots, bunny, Cooper, my yoga matt, my cushion I meditate on.  My patio with the firepit.  I love my digital camera and working on the camera to make unusual effects.  I love my computer especially now that it can go anywhere with me.  HA.   I knew that. but just never did it.   I can email and look up things from here, what a great great deal.  Wireless,  Is this the first time I have thought of that.  HA.    good night.

Day before Expressions

I am asking for the universal abundance energy to guide me and allow me to get through the day tomorrow with the highest regard. for everyone.  I want to give the best workshop that I can and I have to run and give a performance also.I wanted to sell stuff, play music, do lots and lots of stuff that I am not doing.  And why?   Did I not do it fast enough?  Did I change my attitude with the world being like it is and my input on that.   NO  I refuse to allow bad news, bad talk to stop me give my gifts to all.  Thank you...love me

Day Ocean

What does that mean?  Oh a Heading is cool!! is this a new font.  why yes it is.  Inever messed with any of that stuff.   Nobody reads this anyway.  That is OK...actually that is Cool,  cuz then I can write anything that I want.  HA HA HA...Now I am trying some cool stuff.  Let;s see what else I can do.what does this look like.  kind of cool too.what does this do.  well i could just do this all day.  oh everything changed.  

this will change things. well. So let us get back to some normalcy here.  I am at the beach and it is good. The first day that I actually haven't had stomach pains.  So I am happy.  living in the moment.  Feeling I can do anything. and when you find what you were meant to do you feel awesome.  I don't want to die right now while I am feeling good.
I kind of thought once that if you felt too good it would be time to die.  I can actually sit and watch people and know I feel good.  I used to watch people and wondered, how could they be so happy.  I had no concept of how to have a day where I didn't feel like shit.  Drunk or not drunk it didn't matter.  It wasn't the booze.  It was the illusion of suffering that I lived in.  Now I refuse to live like that.  I don't want to live if I feel self hate anymore.   I want to share with everyone that they too can feel good.  Have an open heart and do the things that they want to do and make a million dollars, like me.  I am not waiting.  There are laugh clubs, laugh yoga and I want to have Expressions to be everywhere and for everyone.  Like a workout.   Franchise my dream.  yes, my dream.  I am Expressions.  I am love, I am a giant, I am a double millionaire. I am it all.  Thank you.www.infocusacting.com  
this will help you to be with me on my journey.  All ages.   love to all me

Day of Monday

This is so fun.  I have worked all day to get my business and my projects up and going.  Wow.  what a challenge and what a great opportunity to learn so much stuff.  I am so excited.  This million and owning my own business that becomes a franchise is one of the most exciting things in my life.  The book or workbook that goes with IN FOCUS and Expressions are in the works.  This million makes two million and on and on.  For my son to not be left with our debt but with a fortune that he deserves.  This love to you and to all this lovely monday. 

Day something else

Grieving,  wondering why we don't love when people are near.  Finding a friend is going away and I realize I have never accepted her talent, her beauty and her focus on the change in this plain.  I have been abusive of a relationship, selfish.  Very selfish.  I am saddened by the news of her leaving Veneta and moving away.   I feel as if I am loosing a very close friend even thou I didn't act on it when she was here.  I guess she would always be here.   Spirit be with her in love.  Expand the love everywhere.  Never stand in the darkness for long.   I won't.  Love more

Day something Saturday

This is an explosion of noise, right now.   wow all the tvs are on and i am not quiet or peaceful.  Stuffing my mouth.  love the million, then the next this is all good.   take this life and love it...good things for this......

Day 168 shine

I am a millionaire and I am on the cusp of another million.  This game of life is the very best ever.  I am playing these days.  I gave up and lived the small life like I was raised to be and that is not what  I really wanted,  but I didn't know any different.  I was squashed and very saddened about loosing my god, my spirit, my soul, my meaning and loving here on earth.  The earth school brought me to where I am now and I sing hallalula to it all.   I feel better than I ever have.  I re fuse to allow outside energy to stop me, make me stop what I create, of course I am open to all but I will not shut down for anything.  That is not what I am here for.  If I put you off, I am so so sorry.  And if you don't like me I don't care.  I cannot take care of you or make your life better.   I am me, I am strong I am love, I am kindness, I am generious, I am warm and compassionate and I love you.   But I will not be surrounded by negative energy and take it on.   I really don't enjoy being around it all the time.  I quit that job.  Genius, power and magic flow through me when I allow it.  When I know what I truly am.  I am energy living in this vehicle and I am enjoying it.  What a great idea to put us in bodys.  I ride for all women.  Freda Amelia.   I have a motorcycle right now I just am not sure where it is.   I ride my motorcycle for women.  For peace and power of woman.  The love that they are.  The way they create this world and make it a better place is worth celebrating.  Yes,  Womans day, not Mothers day.
But womans day.....I celebrate and ride.   I love my next million and my next.  I will give it to needy people and my son.  I love leaving a dynasty. Grateful is what I live in.  Thank you.  Health, love, gratitude,vitality, service,creativity,compassion, relationships, I will work on relationships.  I need to get out my prison on that.  And so it is.   I am sober in love. 

Day 141 living outside

I must not have finished this.   I have been outside and it is more than awesome.  I really live in the moment.  That is the way of  the Lord God myself as it is.  This is the way I feel right now.    I am OK.

Day Don't know

I haven't written for quite a while.  I have been busy arranging my life for the new room of abundance, successful business and sharing who I am with the world.  The million dollar lady.  I am so excited to be who I am.  I feel everyone wanting to listen to what I say because I say things they know and forgot.  This is all so so good and I feel it and know it.  I ride for all woman/.  I am so so excited.  Thank you.  I have to be able to do this and feel this good with Hubby home.   And so it is.........

Day 118 It is time

It is time to grow up and face the wonderful universe with my ideas and my love and my trust.  Everything is possible.  I am not attached.  I am the universal child that has clear direction and Ideas.  I am interesting and motivated and clearly a winner.  I will. I am....thank you.

Day 117 April

If this one famous person people might want to hear what I have to say.  Paris Hilton.  etc.  But no, I am a person that love to create and would love to make money doing it.   Helping people and being compassionate.
But I am not famous.

Day 113 Create

A very very great day of moving from one thing to another thing and enjoying almost every minute of it.  I felt the background of my mind this morning. I recognized it.  That is what was so great.  I want another background.  I truly don't need that sadness and unjoyful world.  And yes it was 78 degrees today.  I got some sun.  I made a water feature.  i frames some of my photos.  I cleaned out 3 drawers. painted.  Did laundry, painted. read. looked at magazines.  Wow,  I even did more than that.  It was a very fulfilling day.  Yet, I haven't sang or played my guitar.  

Day 107 Who knows

I i  I i  the big I.  the little i  The big I is the  I in I am.   which is as some say God, as some say higher self, I lives inside me and is made of all,  all things are possible because   I,  It was given to me while quiet.  I am a new person compared to a year ago.  I i am healing, sober and live a different way.  It is my intent to keep going in this wonderful direction.  money, opportunities and all.